Lesson Fourteen: No Other Name

Describe what salvation means to you.  


I'm sitting here in my room in Lakewood, IL, all cozy beneath my covers, taking a rest from the already busy Christmas Eve morning with my family.  I arrived yesterday for a five day respite, to soak in the Christmas season with my beloved family.  Taking some time alone to rest and reflect, I opened a small book I have read a few times before this Christmas, Immanuel: Praying the Names of God by Ann Spangler.  Each chapter features a different name of God, used by his children at Christmastime and through the Advent season, in Scripture, a prayer focusing on this attribute of the LORD, and some questions for reflection.  I have been especially affected by Spangler's reflective challenge today: Describe what salvation means to you.


The Word is clear that we are to give reason for the hope we have in us, at any given moment.  So, what DOES salvation mean to me?  What does God's Word say about it?

Acts 4:12

 ¹² There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.

  
1 Chronicles 16:35
Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation! Gather and rescue us from among the nations, so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”


Psalm 27:1
[ A psalm of David. ] The Lord is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?


Psalm 40:16
But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”


Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.


Psalm 79:9
Help us, O God of our salvation! Help us for the glory of your name. Save us and forgive our sins for the honor of your name.


Luke 19:9
Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham.


Romans 13:11
This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.



Ephesians 2:9
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.


Philippians 1:11
May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ —for this will bring much glory and praise to God.


Hebrews 9:28
so also Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him.


1 Peter 1:9
The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.  This salvation was something even the prophets wanted to know more about when they prophesied about this gracious salvation prepared for you.


Revelation 12:10
Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens,“It has come at last— salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth— the one who accuses them before our God day and night.


What does salvation mean to me?


Salvation is a free gift that I do not, nor will I ever, deserve.  It is given to me solely through Jesus Christ, who, despite deserving Heaven, descended to earth, allowing himself to die a humble, belittling death, all so that I (and anyone who believes) could be in relationship with God forever.  Before Jesus, salvation was only attained through right living by the Law (the Commandments, doing good) and offering sacrifices.  Jesus became the perfect, holy Sacrifice--I no longer live by the Law (restraining), but by Christ (freeing), who lives in me.  Salvation produces good fruit, joy, and obedience, because it ushers us into all that God intended for us to be.  Salvation solidifies our identity as God's precious inheritors, restoring us from our choices of self-indulgence.  Salvation is God's unfailing Love put into perfect action.  It is rescue.  It is freedom from fear.  It is gladness in a fallen world.  Salvation is Jesus Christ's mission, and God's heart.   


What does salvation mean to you?


Merry Christmas!  May the Peace that transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, our LORD.  Amen.

Lesson Thirteen: Listen Up

Sounds easy, right?

The most effective means to getting to know a new person is to listen to their story, their heart.  I must ask myself, Have I listened to God's story lately?  Yes, I read the Word often, and I pray.  But what about actually stopping to listen and understand?

Living in this amazing city has taught me that listening takes DILIGENCE.  Jesus tells us that listening and understanding are different than hearing.


Mark 4

 ¹⁰ When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. ¹¹ He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables ¹² so that,

   “‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving,
   and ever hearing but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’^[a]”

I hear the announcement for my subway stop, the honking of horns (there is a $350 fine for honking in NYC...), and the many voices in my head reminding me of my to-do list tasks.  Those sounds are not hard to miss.  But the still, small voice of God in the midst of distraction requires more of me.  And His is the most important sound of them all.  So why can I not slow down?

I desire to know what it looks like to come before the God of the universe with an open heart and mind.  Not to come with expectations, or doubt, or a list of rambling wants...just ME.  This is quite a simple thought at its essence, but Lord O Lord, would you instill in me Your restful spirit?  Would you help me to understand You, to know Your heart, and to seek Your will above my own?

How do you seek the Lord's presence?  Under what circumstances do you most clearly hear and understand His voice?  I am thrilled to experience the Lord's work, His voice, and His daily challenges. Thanks, all, for reading and supporting the blog!

Lesson Twelve: When the Going Gets Rough...Get Excited

My dear, sweet girlfriend reminded me some time ago that when times get hard, when all things are without explanation and do not seem to go "your way", THAT is the moment to stop and rejoice.  For it means that something bigger is happening, something glorious is bound to occur...

It has been about three weeks since I last wrote, so I am going to attempt to summarize some of city's lessons that I have learned in these past weeks:

• Pre-planning meals is very smart.  Otherwise, peanut butter is your best friend.
• Check the weather before you leave for the day.  This one may seem quite obvious, but wear the appropriate clothing/shoes because there is NO time to go home and change.
• At-home grocery delivery is actually affordable (and it saves the trip).
• Yelp.com is an incredible tool for all things New York.
• Carry your phone charger on you at all times.  Getting stuck with a dead phone is no good.  
• Talk to people around you.  Get to know their story.  Of course, use wisdom and discrepancy; but people have some amazing things to say.  
• Look up.  It's so easy to walk with such determination that I forget to set my gaze to high heaven.  Not only are the buildings amazing structures, but there is beautiful blue sky up there.  Soak it up.  (But please don't run into anyone while enjoying the view :-)).

Well, since three weeks ago, I have: gotten my first flu shot (look out subway germs!), auditioned for some pretty neat shows, said "hello" to Hugh Jackman and "hung out" with Jonathan Reid Gealt, gotten boyfriend advice from Kristy Cates, seen the New York City version of "snow", moved in to my new apartment (!), taken a tap class, fallen up some stairs, been newly inspired as my own CEO, seen four of my fellow SoTA alumni, and experienced a dueling pianos show.  I'd say it's been a very blessed three weeks.

I went through about a week long period where I realized that everything in my life had changed.  No longer was I walking the Iwu campus, running into friends left and right.  No longer was I three short hours from home.  No longer would I have classes to attend regularly in a general zone of comfort.  At first, I was unsure of how to react.  My wonderful man shared with me that all these thoughts were perfectly normal, that this new phase of life was forming something deep, intended for my good.

No, I am not the same person that I was three months ago.  I am not the same person I was yesterday, nor two years ago.  What an incredible thought that, despite how we change and morph and assimilate and learn and grow, the Creator never changes.  He never once has changed.  He is immoveable and complete and perfect Providence.  Even if I cannot understand the events or transitions happening all around me, one thing is forever certain, that my Lord ceases to change.

During moments of uncertainly, discouragement, or confusion, another truth is certain: something new is being formed.  Something exciting, real, and true.  This thought really helped me to think through some discouragement I was experiencing.  The Lord intends all things for my good.  He intends all things for your good.  We need only to look up, and expect that He will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.  I wonder how my attitude would change if I only thought, "I'm excited for what is next", each time I felt discouraged.  Something to chew on...

Ephesians 3:
 ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


The question is: Do I really, truly, deeply believe God?  Not just "believing in Him", but BELIEVING Him?  Do I know that He can do all things, and more? 


Oh, Lord, I pray for great enlightenment.  Enlighten my heart and mind to Your Truth and Your Word, to discern the great future that you have for me.  Give me the mind of Christ.  Amen.

Lesson Eleven: Stop the World...and make life Full.

For some reason, "I'll stop the world and melt with you..." keeps running through my head.  For the past two days, my world has come to a slight halt, thanks to a weather-changing induced sickness, and it's given me the time to consider how very, very fast this city is training my body and mind to move.  Making time to rest and slow down happens every once in a while, during that random, but generous, three-hour time slot on a Tuesday afternoon...

I've had some time to ponder what it means to be truly free.  Physically speaking, in worldly terms, freedom's connotation means health, wealth, happiness, and peace.  But what does it mean to say that Christ has come to set the captives free?  What does it truly look like for me to live in Christ, to walk with Him?  One thing is for sure: I do not have all the answers.  And so I pray.

A thought that has been abounding in depth for the past year or so is: Fullness in Christ is to be all that God intended for me to be.  I think about fullness in John 10:10 ("I have come so they may have life, and have it to the full."), and I cannot help but think about the times when I get ill, about how I, as Paul talks about in Romans, "do what I don't want to do", about how worldly circumstances seem "too much" at times to possibly urge on a full life.

If fullness of life is spiritual, then what are the things Christ is forming within me to make me closer to His likeness?  And, then, how is this fullness expressed, lived out, in our world?  I praise God that He created so many individual children, all liking different hobbies, working in various industries, and expressing their own likes and dislikes.  I wonder if this fullness is working within me to make me more like Christ, yet it looks completely different from the way God is working in the woman next to me?  Especially in the way fullness of life and walking with God is expressed?

I have been babysitting here in the city as one of my jobs, and one night, as I was rocking a precious little seven-month-old to sleep, the parallel of Christ and myself became stunningly clear.  The way this little innocent girl looked up at me was so needy, so open, so fragile, and so trusting; I then realized that just a dependent gaze unto the Lord, a look of love, a trusting mind bring intimate fellowship with the God of the universe.  How often I struggle with praying "words", correct words, in an effort that God will sense my need and respond with His voice; really, resting in His presence and acknowledging His goodness is worship.


1 Peter 2:5
you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.


Amazing that we are God's temple!  Jesus is the cornerstone (Matt. 21:42); we are His living stones.   


I am still mulling through these thoughts on a daily basis.  Lord, Teach us Your intentions for us, so that we may become more like you, and experience the fullness of life that Christ promised.  

Lesson Ten: Give Yourself Fifteen...

...extra minutes, that is.

One simple lesson that has not taken me long to learn is the fact that subways are NOT like driving my car.  They do not depart when I wish to depart.  They do not arrive when I wish to hop on them.  I have been spoiled for many years in driving myself around; the tables have turned.  So, everyone, when planning to arrive at an appointment, be it an audition, an interview, a church service, or a lunch date, allot yourself an extra fifteen minutes.  Yes, it took me three weeks to impress this upon my own brain. 

That being said...

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

Lacking nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  What a thought.  This verse from Psalm 23 was in my reading for this morning; the version I have reads "I shall not want".  Last Sunday at Trinity, despite an entire incredibly thought and prayer-provoking sermon, one simple truth was impressed upon my heart.  And it still has not left me this week--I pray it never does.  The truth is this: We have nothing to prove.  Nothing.  

It would be a lie for me to say that, in my three weeks here, I have felt no pressure to "be" what everyone "wants".  In the audition room, there is pressure to prove oneself worthy as a performer (and as a person, because casting directors want to work with pleasant actors).  In job searching, there is pressure to prove oneself trustworthy and hardworking.  Even in simply exploring and navigating the city, there is pressure to prove oneself capable, smart, street-wise, and punctual.  And in my last post, I talked about the pressure to prove oneself a fashionable, cultured New Yorker. 

We have nothing to prove.  Not to the world, certainly.  And once the power of sin and death has been lifted from our lives, both now and for eternity, we have nothing to prove to the Father.  It is an enormous, almost overwhelming thought that my identity is found in the One who established everything and everyone.  Before creation, He had me in mind.  He had you in mind.  We are His.  We have nothing to prove.  

To think that, in the Lord, I will never be in want delights me.  It encourages me.  It propels me.  It grants me rest.  

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.  

I want to understand how, amidst the crazy pace of life, it's every demand screaming for our attention, we can find an internal, eternal rest in the Lord.  Since we have nothing to prove, and since we have everything we could possibly need, rest is granted to us.  Who does not want to lie down in green pastures, even when the kids are screaming?  Who does not want their soul refreshed, even when they've lost their job?  Who does not want to be guided down the right paths, even when the "right path" is not clear?

Thank you, Lord, that we have nothing to prove.  You give us rest for our souls.

Lesson Nine: Bring lots of snacks, Deodorant On-The-Go, Band-Aids are your friend

Three simple lessons to begin with:

One.  Bring food.  All the time.  Invest in some ice packs and a nifty lunchbox.  Because unless you have lots of spare change to spend eating out, this is the WAY to go.  Thank you, Hersheypark, for teaching me how to pack one stellar, reliable lunch...

Two.  New York City subways make me sweat.  And not just me.  Everyone.  Therefore, it is vital that one carries a travel-sized deodorant, so as not to offend those around you when the subways get a little too friendly, bringin' in the heat...

Three.  Invest in Band-Aids.  Just as one's body must adjust to all the walking, so one's heels must adjust to the rub-bage of the shoes.  Especially the heels.  Why women must wear things that look so good, but hurt so badly, is beyond me.  I especially enjoy the large, heel-sized Band-Aids.  Take that, heels.

Larger, deeper, more over-reaching lessons I have learned this week...

New York City is a city of image.  Image is everywhere.  In the businesses and their marketing ploys, in the Fashion District and all the posh stores advertising their clothing, even in the audition space.  Image, image, image.  Be the image.  I realized just yesterday that the influence of image was rubbing off on me when I found myself asking, "Is this look "New York"?"  In itself, that is not a bad question.  But in context, it opened my eyes to begin praying for the armor of God to surround me and protect me from any worldly influence that would try to impress a certain image upon me.  Lord, I pray that, instead of being influenced by image, I would be influenced by You, and You alone.  May I ask, "Is this look "Kristen"?  Do I find my image in the Savior who gave me life?"

I find myself getting very easily overwhelmed by everything around me.  There is so much opportunity here, so many options, so much noise, so much energy.  However, opportunity is not a good thing if not given over into the hands of the One who creates it--it becomes a burden, and I experienced this last week, when I began feeling overwhelmed and upset, rather than thankful and energetic.  I love the Biblical expression "sober-mindedness".  I need a sober mind daily here.

Peter loved talking about having a sober mind.

1. 1 Peter 1:13
   Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.
   
2. 1 Peter 4:7
   The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.
   
3. 1 Peter 5:8
   Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I think about how alert a person must be in this city: constantly dodging people on the sidewalks, holding closely on to your personal belongings, watching out for cars blowing the red light, etc.  How much more alert must we be in a spiritual sense, when the devil in on the prowl, looking to catch us off guard? This truth makes me want to pray even more intensely about alertness and a steady mind, to hand over my plans to God and allow Him to handle opportunities.  

What a week.  I feel so blessed by opportunity, by friends and family, and yes, by Band-Aids.  Even the simple things remind me of how much God loves me, cares for me, as He loves you and cares for you.

Lesson Eight: Questions are an Opportunity for Thankfulness

"And how have things been going since you got here?"

I have been asked this question multiple times now, whether from interviewers, from parents reviewing my babysitting skills, or from friends and family back home.  Although a seemingly simple and "normal" question, this phrase has done far more than stir me to a quick, happy, one-word answer; it has challenged me to truly stop and reflect upon my first week here in New York City, to ask myself, "Kristen, how HAS it been going?"

For the first time yesterday (Sunday), I experienced the conundrum of having to re-route myself via the subway system, as a result of construction happening on certain lines.  This happened on my way to an interview, so naturally, my first reaction was to panic.  I wondered, "Should I take a cab?" and "Should I try to walk the twenty blocks?"  Of course, everything worked itself out, thank the Lord, and I learned that a few good, deep breaths and a silent prayer for peace could ease my spirit, even over something as silly as a late train.  (Oh, and here's a lesson that I learned last night while talking to a parent on the phone, and a VERY good one at that: If the subways are running late, do not take a taxi--they will only make you later.)  


I have had many questions lately about "the next step".  Lord, where do you want me?  WHAT do you want me to do?  Who do you want me to meet?  What is my significance here in the city?  Who, What, Where, When, Why and How?  All of these questions are good ones, but the most important question is Father, what is Your Will for me, and how can I obey You every day?  The answers are not instantly found, not always clear right away, and most certainly, if one is asking the Lord for His will, they can rest assured they will be taking the narrow path.  And the narrow path is not the easiest path, but it is the most fruitful path.

Jesus says in Matthew 7:13-14:
¹³ “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. ¹⁴ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. 


In asking all of these questions, in spending so much time wondering what the Lord is doing, and in striving to "form" my own path, I forget to overflow with thankfulness.  It's incredible that the Lord commands us to do this--it is an intricate part of being in His Will.  


Colossians 1:11-12
¹¹ being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, ¹² and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you^[a] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.


Colossians 2:6-7
 ⁶ So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, ⁷rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.


1 Thessalonians 5:17-19
¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  Do not quench the Spirit.


Not only does being thankful give us the Father's joy and place us in His Will for our lives, but we also allow the Spirit to live in us more fully ("do not quench the Spirit").  When I humble myself and am thankful, I not only recognize how blessed I am, but the focus turns away from myself and onto the One who formed me.  Why wouldn't I overflow with gratitude all the time?  Good question, Kristen...


So, how has it been going?  Pretty well, thank the Lord.  Let us ask the questions...and then overflow with thankfulness.  

Lesson Seven: Loud City; Still, Small Voice

What a week!

Today is officially called "Kristen Hit a Wall" Day.  A very, very good wall.  Yes, this girl who rarely takes naps fell asleep in the middle of the day.  Lesson Seven A: Naps are a gift from God.  Take them if you need them!

I am finally learning how to navigate through the subway system, change stops, and get to my destinations with time to spare.  Actually, I find great satisfaction in arriving safely and successfully at my intended location--it's like a game.  Okay, I need to find 317 Madison Ave...which stops shall I take to get there?....hmmm.  Love it.  I can also say that I'm morphing into a "subway girl" because I'm comfortable enough to bring a novel ("The Help"--so good) without being scared I'll miss my stop, AND I tend to nod off when I'm really tired.  I used to think, Wow those subway riders all look really exhausted.  Now I'm ONE OF THEM...

Lesson Seven B: Don't be afraid to tell the tired-looking lady with the stroller that her precious infant is adorable.  It will make her day :-).

I am now two interviews down, filmed a scene on my second day here, and am feeling so blessed to have two homes while I search for my own.  The Lord has poured out blessings upon me this week, reminding me never to worry, for He always provides and protects.  I met with a gorgeous girlfriend of mine today, and she reminded me that, despite all the hustle and bustle around us, we are here to listen intently for the Lord's still, small voice (thank you, also, to Francine Rivers, an amazing novelist who wrote about precisely this in her book "A Voice in the Wind").  Yes, we are actors.  We need to work and make money.  We need to pay the rent and eat.  All of this is true.  But these actions, filling up our time, trying to become "an actor", is not who we are.  I have an identity in my Father that far surpasses any identity I could obtain from being cast in a play.  So much of my time here already has been spent trying, striving to be productive, to make something happen.  Lesson Seven C: It is not my plan or my will.  


In the midst of the honking horns, the street vendors' yells, the loud trucks, and the lights and commotion, one thing remains...the Lord's still, small voice.  His Spirit is here to guide me, and His Spirit wants to fill you and guide you, no matter where you are.  New York City is a urban dwelling full of achievement; it is also bursting with the Spirit's fulfilling nature, that rests all over us.  I just need to stop and listen...

Isaiah 30:21
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” 

Lesson Six: Never Go to Macy's on Labor Day

It's a nuthouse.

Actually, that's more of a tip than a lesson.  I honestly do not think I can accurately relay all the lessons I most likely soaked up yesterday because so much happened (or what seemed like "so much").  Yesterday, I morphed into a human sponge, soaking up multitudes of valuable information, storing away facts and "rules" about how the city grid works, observing people, making to-do lists, and yes, jumping right into memorizing a film script (thank you, Sky!).  It was a marvelous, humbling, yet tiring day, chock full of lessons...

A quick run down: I met Clayton's family at Chelsea Market and had a delicious lunch with some incredible people, whom I'm very grateful for!  The Highline came next--a gorgeous view of the city streets, followed by a venture to Macy's to do an exchange in the shoe department.  I did this all by myself, and to say the least, I could not wait to exit the department store and be on the subway home.  I have never seen a shoe department so full of crazed people, slipping on comfort shoe after comfort shoe (that's another lesson: get comfort shoes...).  I rode the subway home, but accidentally hopped on the wrong subway, only to get off at Times Square and try again (thank you, Clayton for the tip--when lost, navigate to Times Square, and go from there...).  Arriving back in Astoria, I decided to use the rest of the day to finish my sponging duties, soaking up all I had learned from the morning.

[Mosaic wall art in the Times Square subway!  Very beautiful.]

Within the hour, I had a role in a short film!  How this happened, only Sky (and the Lord, of course) knows, but I am so grateful to be working on a project my third day in the city.  That will happen tonight in Hoboken, NJ--I'm playing a news anchor interviewing a New Jersey band on live television.  And now to continue memorizing...

This morning, I opened to Psalm 18, which talks about the Lord's defense over His children when they cry for His help.  It is also a song of praise to our God who protects and provides for us.  Verse 32 says, "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights..."  Amen that we serve a God who is more than willing to enable and empower His children--in fact, He delights in it (verse 19)!

I am preparing to go to my very first interview in the city in an hour, and I could not be more thankful or more excited.  Thank you, God, that you actively fight for those who love you with their whole hearts.  Purify us, makes us more like you, humble us to see that all we have is Yours alone.  Amen!

Lesson Five: As In Childhood, Look Both Ways...

...before crossing the street.  Especially in New York City.

Yes, my dear, sweet boyfriend actually had to stop me from walking out into traffic earlier today.  Why, you ask?  Perhaps my mind was spinning with the overwhelming nature that is the city, or perhaps we all forget the little, simple lessons when our minds are one step ahead of our bodies.  Either way, I'm taking that moment with me as a reminder to never be too old to to remember the lessons of my youth.

Well, I'm officially a New Yorker...actually, we shall don it "New Yorker", since the only credit I have is walking the city for one day.  Regardless, I entered New York City via the Holland Tunnel at 11:00am, my amazing boyfriend driving my fully packed vehicle, excitement and nervousness both brimming within me.  Who knew what would be next?  Would I adjust, and how quickly?  So many questions flew through my mind, most of which I could not even express into words.  New York City, just the sight of it from afar, is incredible, grand, immense, wonderful, intimidating, and full of hope.  I felt an immediate peace upon entering the city, as we swerved eager taxis to navigate my car to Astoria.

Soon enough, we had entered lovely Astoria, and I greeted Bethany, the incredibly generous individual opening up her home to me temporarily (anybody know a lovely lady willing to sublet her apartment to a needy girl?).  From there, the day blazed on (yes, it was 85 degrees and HOT today), I toured some fitness centers, walked the streets, experienced grocery shopping at the Stop n Shop, and applied for more jobs and housing opportunities...

I'm already learning how very, very immense this city is, and how quickly one can feel small!  This morning, the Lord brought an encouraging Word to me that could not be more perfect for today:

The LORD will guide you always. He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. 

Is. 58:11

I am positive that there will be days when this new city, as any new place would, seems like a sun-scorched land.  

But I am full of hope that the Lord will strengthen my frame, and will water me well with His promises to never leave.  Walking with Him, we never fail.  I must remember to hold His hand and look both ways before crossing the street.

Lesson Four: Soak It Up, Smell Your Scarf

I will never forget this moment...

It was the first day of school back from Christmas break, some year in elementary, and the big yellow bus pulled up to my driveway and opened its welcoming doors.  For all my bus-riding years, my wonderful, gentle mother would usher me to the end of the drive, wait with me, and encourage me for the day ahead.  This particular day was daunting to a little girl who had just spent the entire holiday with her mom (and family), doing crafts, baking cookies, and Christmas shopping, and celebrating the Savior.  Now, it was time to say a temporary goodbye, which, on this particular day, this little girl could not handle well.  Tears welled in my eyes, and I told my mom I did not want to leave her (for all of six hours, might I add).  She sweetly smiled at me, unwrapped the purple, fuzzy scarf from around her neck, and wrapped it lovingly around mine.  She said something to the affect of, "See, honey, it smells like me.  If you get sad on the bus, just smell my scarf, and know I am right there with you."  I think I still cried that morning, but breathing in the sweet scent of my mommy calmed me down and gave me hope that I would make it through my "very long" day and see her soon.

This gorgeous view is one snapshot of the length of road that I drive every day to work.  While driving on it this morning, I noticed a mother and her son, waiting at the end of their driveway, for the bus.  The memory of Mom's scarf came flooding back to me, and I smiled widely.  What a precious thing, a relationship between a mother and her child...

...on a day when the weather looks like this, I literally roll down my car window, stick my head near the window, and breathe in the immaculately fresh air.  I have been doing this more recently because I am realizing that I am living here, atop this small mountain, amidst these lush trees, in this precious town, for only three more days.  Recognizing that this chapter is winding down is making me all the more aware of the beauty surrounding me...to the point that I would--yes--stick my head out my car window.

These ideas about taking in the scent of people and places that are important to me has caused me, not only to gain a deeper awareness of how completely blessed I am, but to relate it all to the perfect relationship that we have with our Father.  If I think a mother's love is something to cherish, my Heavenly Father must be pretty incredible!  I consider soaking up the fresh air, and taking the memories of Hershey with me, and I realize that my Father's presence goes with me wherever I go.  Just like taking a deep breath of Mom's purple scarf gave me hope for that afternoon, when I would run into her arms, so I consider the Word and know deeply that the God of the universe cares intimately about me.  

Who am I / that the Lord of all the earth / would care to know my name / would care to feel my hurt...(song by Casting Crowns)

So, wherever you are, soak it up.  It's not forever.  Smell your scarf, whatever it may be, and know you are not alone.

[This is for you, Mom.  One of our first memories in Hershey.  I loved making the trip with you!]

Lesson Three: Beauty in the Storm

  

We all awaited the impending hurricane Irene on Saturday night, eagerly aching for our day off, but also wondering how she would affect things...

...everyone was safe and sound, as the winds blew around our condos, and the only damage done was to the main power line supplying our homes.  (Yes, we are still without power...showers at Gold's Gym, anyone?)  Yesterday turned out to be the best "last" day off we could have spent as a cast.  It included resting indoors, many naps, and finally, a big New Orleans-style dinner, lit by candlelight.  We surrounded the boys' condo with tealights, used our "flashlight" iPhone application to cook dinner (we lit the stove using a lighter), cooked biscuits on the grill, and spent the evening talking beneath the starts.  A cloud-ridden, wind-struck day turned into a gorgeous, peaceful, star-filled night.  I have never in my life regarded stars so bright.  

So, thank you, Irene, for a Hershey adventure!  I am so blessed for all the incredible moments that have happened in this place...

Spiritually speaking, the Irene storm and the resulting beauty parallel the storms that we encounter in our own lives.  It is amazing how being left without something as simple as power can make a girl stop and count her blessings.  I woke up yesterday thinking, "Oh man, I can't brew coffee..." and instantly stopped myself.  There are children in other countries without education, all because they must spend their time walking miles to find suitable drinking water.  The heat in our water is just diminishing today, but it is a small inconvenience compared to what others must face.  

I think about the small joys that come with storms.  If not for Irene, we would have missed an evening laughing, cooking by iPhone light, and reflecting on the summer.  So many joys have come from these past four months, and I am immensely grateful for every single day.

The beauty of the storms of life lies in the perfect relationship that we have with the Father.  During my time reading the Word, He reminded me that His care for me, for all His children, is PERFECT, without fault, and is full of compassion.  Sometimes, when the storms come, we need only to turn to the God of Comfort.  His presence is unending, surrounds us, and shelters us.  When Jesus resurrected, He said to His disciples, "My peace I give to you...".  We are gifted with immense blessings and perfect peace!  

The next question is, how can I use peanut butter to make meals this week...?  

Not a lesson, just a thought...

As I was swimming laps this morning, it occurred to me that the physical alignment of the head and neck while doing freestyle is comparable to our daily journeys....

...when I tilt my head up to look slightly ahead of me in the lane, I experience a physical strain on my neck.  It's not comfortable, and I exit the pool feeling tense.

...However, if I choose to gaze straight down at the lap lane, focusing on exactly where I am at that point in time, I swim more efficiently and more ergonomically.

The point: Gazing straight down in the lane is like focusing on the day at hand.  Straining one's head to look ahead is like trying to figure out the future before it happens.

The first is a much better choice.

Lesson Two: Hardship Makes Us Better

Last night at ladies' group, we started a new study by Beth Moore called Living Beyond Yourself.  It's already rocking my world.  I started my first day of "homework" this morning, and Acts 14:22 really settled upon my heart and mind.  I needed this to be my lesson for today, and as a preparation for future times, when I am sure hardships will increase in number and intensity.

Acts 14:22
...strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith.  "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God," they said.


I will never forget the moment when I understood the spiritual truth that the Lord gives us hardships to make us better.  I cannot recall where I was sitting, or what age I was, or what caused the revelation, but the moment is vivid in my memory.  Trials and tribulations finally had purpose, and I understood.  Just like James explains, God desires us to be transformed into the likeness of His perfect Son, to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  And He uses the difficult seasons of our lives to accomplish just this objective.


I wonder today what the Lord is preparing me for, come future times.  His ways are higher than ours, and we will not know what's to come until it happens.  Ever feel like you are halfway living in the unknown?  Beyond yourself?  It's exciting if we allow God to handle it all.  That's how it's meant to work.  I'm just now understanding this, and I'm not altogether successful, by any means.  I have days when all aspects of the unknown seem like my enemy.  Rather, the unknown is comparable to those paintings where the color can only be revealed by sunlight; a portion of God's painting is colored in invisible ink, only to revealed by the light, when the time is right.  My responsibility is to wait in faith, and trust the work, the brush strokes being painted in the lines...


By strength and encouragement in the truth, hardship makes us better. 

Lesson One: Just Breathe

A very wise person once told me to take the next two days to purposefully avoid job hunting, and instead, to Google "living in nyc"...

Yes, this happened about two hours ago.  For the past four months, I've been performing in Hershey, PA ("The Sweetest Place on Earth") at the famous Hersheypark, singing and dancing twenty shows a week for enthused theme park audiences.  These four months have simultaneously been a time of preparation for the big move to New York City, a move that, four years ago, I would have said was still "up in the air for me".  New York City, The Great White Way, is the place for aspiring actors to plant themselves; but up until about six months ago, I may have denied the city's theatrical mecca for fear of its overwhelming landscape, chaotic way of life, and altogether urban lifestyle, unfamiliar to this Midwestern girl.  The Lord, over time and prayer, made it increasingly clear that New York City was, indeed, an option for me.  So, sixty job applications and various other preparations later, here I am, counting down the ELEVEN days until I move myself to a brand new place.  It's surreal.

Earlier tonight, my incredibly strong, honest, and gentle boyfriend reminded me of just that: I have two weeks left to enjoy my time in Hershey.  Two weeks to breathe in the fresh air, to have my coffee in the morning and see the lush greenery out my window, to work out at 8am because I'm not called to the park until 11, to laugh with my cast and perform a corny, wonderful show, to be home by 430 and use the evening to be productive and rest.  Two weeks.  Tonight's lesson is indeed JUST BREATHE.

Breathing does not come easily to me.  Most of the time, I'm too busy trying to control my circumstances to breathe.

But, the Lord commands us numerous times in Scripture to trust Him.  These four months, He has been developing within me an understanding of what it truly means to trust.  Not just surrender with my mind, but trust with my heart.  


Psalm 9:10 
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.


I have also been reminded lately of all the blessings I have been given, throughout my life and in preparing for this new step.  The Lord has never once forsaken me.  What an amazing God we serve.  


I tell myself tonight, as I lay down to sleep, to JUST BREATHE.  Breathe in the blessings, breathe in hope, breathe in joy, and then breathe out, and release it all to the One who knows best.  JUST BREATHE.